a year later im back again

Joshua 24:15
"but if serving the Lord seems undesireable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. Bus as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord."

maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
where can you run to escape from yourself
where you gonna go
where you gonna go
salvation is here.

makeover

create in me a clean heart
O God
and renew a right spirit within me

cast me not away from thy presence O Lord
take not thy Holy Spirit from me
restore unto me the joy of thy salvation
and renew a right spirit within me

in the quiet place

i just looked at this picture again, and i thought to myself - it's sucha quiet picture, yet you seem to hear her saying singing words very very softly only for the sharpest of ears, the most attentive of listeners.

i just came back from liwei's 21st birthday celebration. he turned 21 on the 17th of last month but only held the celebration today because the past month was a way too busy one.

i can't say i know liwei well. we see each other every friday in ocf, and sunday at hobsons bay church, but other than the quick "hello how are you"s, we have never had a proper conversation before. but tonight i learnt a lot, not just about him, but FROM him. i can't exactly put a finger on what exactly i learnt. i suppose i'm not thinking a lot now, more of feeling.

liwei is busy preparing everything in the function room. he is talking to the people who have arrived, trying to get things started, making sure everything's ok. his mum and dad and little sister arrive. he pulls himself away, walks towards his mum and kisses her on the cheek before bringing the family in.

liwei had this list of things he wanted to go through, a list of songs, and a list of people who have things to saya about/to him. top of the list was no ALL-YOU-PEOPLE-LISTEN-TO-THIS-HAPPENING-SONG song. it was a humble hymn. he shared briefly from the bible. and you're there thinking "this is gonna be interesting.. doesn't feel like a party at all".

don't get me wrong, i wasn't the elast bit disappointed. in fact, i think it was really great, that everyone who went up would mention something about liwei's passion for God and his love towards the people around him. what can i say, this 21 year old is one impressive kid who still has yet to do his NS next year. no, correction. this 21 year old is a testimony of God's goodness.

it'd be great if i got the chance to know liwei better, to learn more from him. but hey, he's going to the army and im sure, and i pray, that he'd shine the Lord's light to more people back home in singapore.

and while i was lyrical about this guy, i suppose it all comes back to me and how i should respond, or YOU, how you would respond after reading this. am i challenged to grow in my walk as liwei has grown? will i go back to the quiet place everyday and whisper or sing in the softest voice to the sharpest of ears and most attentive of listeners..

much said

so much has been said about relationships.
with God, with each other, with people around.

God if only you could come here and talk to me now in person and i wont ask you anything. i just want you to talk to me. and i'll understand more of who you are, more of how great you are, and i'll fear you more, and be wiser.

yeah.

starving but not hungry?

woohooo. sigh. there are bout 2 or 3 very annoyingly demanding thoughts in my head that i'm trying to get rid of right now but i can't seem to pin point/express them very well at the moment.

you know how sometimes you feel like you're stagnant and you don't hunger, yet you KNOW that it's not good to NOT hunger. your stomach is empty and you want to feel hungry. because it is only when you feel hungry that you will eat. i feel like i have an empty stomach but i'm not hungry.

i had a nightmare 3 or 4 nights ago which triggered a short chain of events that probably explains why i've been moody or deep in thought the past few days.

it's good to depend on the person you were made to depend on.
depending on someone else, or something else will just lead to disappointment.

do you wanna be better to meet those expectations? or do you wanna be better because it is pleases God?

every heartbeat says i need you. show me i need you again.

love in the world today

i was just reading posts from friends' blogs.
what really struck me was that half the blogs i visited were about emotional disappointment.
feelings are not reciprocated, hearts are broken and the like.

someone once asked me "Elisa, where do you think you find security?"

"people." i answered after some time, knowing and preparing myself for what she was going to ask next.
"what if they all go away?" she questioned, as i had expected.

that conversation was held at a point in time where i was slightly insecure.

someone ELSE told me and has been reminding me that my security should come from the Lord. God is my comfort. Jesus should me the one i depend on, even for emotional needs. not him.

and i guess a lot of people have yet to learn that depending on one person who is as fallible as they are is not wise.

im still learning to depend on God. it's a constant process i suppose.. constant dependence, constant re-focus on the One who made, loves and saved us.

love them like Jesus

he wore a cap over his thinning white hair.
his sweater was old, and filthy.
he slowly made his way past a couple seated at a table near the bin.
he held a paper bag with one hand, and with the other, he reached into the bin.
what do people take from bins? scraps of paper? plastic bottles?
this old man, he found his next meal - a bowl of golden, starchy, half-eaten noodles someone had casually dumped into the bin.
the eyes of both the guy and the girl were on him.
the girl didn't stare, she didn't dare.
how could one look at such poverty in the surrounding affluence?
how could one look without acknowledging what she was seeing?
and how could one acknowledge without helping?
she shifted her focus from the old man, to her friend, from her friend to the old man. and back again.
"what are you thinking?"
"of getting food for him"
immediately her response was "yes let's get him something! i really don't want him to eat that."
he sat and looked at her. the old man was walking away.
"what! let's get him something to eat!" she urged him.
"what should i get him?"
"Ruby's cafe!"
"i'll get him two sushis"
"yes ok... go quick!"
"i'll be right back." and he left.

love them like Jesus.

not anymore

that's all become my past now. :D

the new has come and old has gone.
("Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17)

monday 18th august

"you're not kidding are you? ok.. no. you're not. "

light

God prepares people for his work. definitely :)

how great are You exactly, God?

give thanks

after a scrumptious dinner cooked by zelia jolene and lishan, jolene went to weigh herself.
all of us: so how? what's your new weight?
jolene: errrrr.. very new! *add guilty look*

hahaha we all burst out laughing.

and hey, i may not have cooked (perhaps this is something to be thankful about) but I DID THE WASHING (with a bit of help from shan).
we had bakkuteh, eggplant and egg+bittergourd.
bkt was good cause they boiled the pork till the fat and smell was nearly gone before cooking it with the herbs etc. healthy bkt :D




what can i say, God
how can i thank You enough
im so happeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :D

matthew 12:15-45

here's one of the things that struck me at OCF today.

when we hear about God, we are automatically faced with 2 choices. to either follow Jesus, or NOT to follow Jesus. the thing that stood out was the danger of sitting on the fence.

matthew 12:44-45 "Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters"

man, but that's not all. i learnt quite a bit today, and it's probably not the best idea to post it on my blog like that.



matthew chapter 12
http://net.bible.org/bible.php?search=matthew%2012&book=matthew&chapter=12#n33

miracle

you want to see a miracle?
http://peanutcups.livejournal.com
that's my friend vanessa and i think her being alive and her progress is a true miracle.
just a few months before we didn't even know if she was going to live or die, or stay in a coma forever.

thank you God.

like job

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZE33ejdgWIY

yes check this video out. i think it's really amazing.
how she could find the strength and faith to sing through her brokenness.
just like Job.

dont you just desire such strength and faith?

for me to live

die = gain?

if God is so big..

"if God is so big, He should be big enough to find me" - feb2008

"who was he talking to when he said that?"
"yup, and God works through His people"
- July 23, 2008

:D

here's sthg a singaporean boy said to me this morning
"eh, can you please change your ringtone for my calls? i don't want to make an ACS boy sing an ACS song everytime i call you!"

and i go "yeah i should record you singing your victorian song"

he goes "NOOO! NO WAY (blah blah blah blah blah)"

hahahaha i found that EXTREMEMLY AMUSING.

beauty

1pet3:3-4

good looks is a blessing.
will you be a good steward?

dont forget

mummy said my health report's good.. just that i didn't take my hep B vaccine and will probably have to end of the year of next year. MANNN another needle piercing my skin. YUUUCCKK!!

mummy: eh, your health report
me: must i look at it?
mummy: if you want.. look at it an give thanks.

yeah actually i shouldn't take my health for granted. blessed with good health, better watch the stuff i eat and not destroy my healthy body. (thank you God)

i had a fantastic day today with multiple great conversations.
jake and i talked over breakfast today out fl and stuff.. was good.
i spoke to three strangers and got to know someone new - ANDY! heh. finally get to see the friend dong talked to me about.

girl with boyfriend
indo girl with family
blessed blind man

it was really refreshing talking to strangers. i had a really good conversation this afternoon. very good.

i went to read at mum's office while waiting for seven o clock to come. i met the ac gang at seven and we headed to subway to grab dinner and ate/hung out at one fullerton starbucks. it was really nice to just chill with the guys plus yvonne again. rach pangsehhhedddd and darling darli was sending her mommy off at the airport. that's why i was the only girl left when yvonne left. heh twas good. i reached home shortly after eleven.

and on the way home, i had another 2 good coversations. one of which was an AWESOME surprise because i hadn't heard from him in about a year and had no way of contacting him and didn't know a common friend who was still in touch with him. the most amazing thing was that he didn't even remember i had gone to australia to study AND he didn't even know i was back in singapore. he just so happened to call and i so happened to be in singapore and so happened to pick up the phone!!!!! coincidence? too much of a coincidence to be a coincedence. i'm really excited to meet up with him tmr. can't wait cant wait cant waitttt!!

blessed :D

mummy daddy and caleb finally made their way to melbourne!
it's a little weird seeing caleb and daddy again after so long of not really having contacted them very much, but still good.

the first thing daddy did when he entered my room was head straight for my laptop to fix it. (that's his love language - acts of service)

and guess what! he got me a hi-fi set too! man.. crazy stuff. yay! i'll be listening to the chris tomlin CDs mum got me and the misc cd from daryl! that's enough songs for me.

oh one more thing.
i'd spent last night cleaning up my room so that it'd be nice and neat when mummy daddy and caleb come today.
daddy was the first one who entered: wha.. so messy
caleb: so messy..
mummy entered much later saying "why so messy ah?"

man i was distraught. hahaha. kidding.

mummy got me one of those music box mechanism thingamajigs from the tasmania airport. haha.. the song it plays is "fur elise", but it was printed in english as "for elisa"! haha.. i think it was really funny/sweet/cute/interesting/amusing how she had it in her hand when she came out of the car to hug me! haha!

ok i think i'm happier to be with my family again than i had expected to be. so blessed.

oh and guess what! mummy and dong know a common person whom i don't know! man i feel so left out.

i titled this blog entry as "blessed", and it's not just being blessed with m, d and caleb that i want to highlight. i've been blessed to have someone who'd look out for me and who'd call before each paper to pray over the phone, not jsut for my exam, but also for a couple of other people.
:)

think about it

daryl and i were walking to the atm after church today..

daryl, what would you do if you were Job?

that question stemmed from my thoughts from last night that i hadn't managed to clear up.. as a result, i was rather deep in thought the whole morning. my question was eventually thrown back at me.

it was as though i had the answers to my unresolved "thoughts" locked in the back of my head. and it was only when i answered daryl that i unlocked the chest and fished out the answers.

God allowed Job to go through all that crap. was it fair? no. but God would definitely not have allowed it if He knew that it was too much for Job to bear. it's a promise that we will not be given more than we can take on, and that we would be equipped with all that's necessary. if i were in Job's position, i'm sure God would have prepared me for it. and in my opinion, that is how God is just. He's not a big bully, come on. :D dont forget that God blessed Job soooooo richly after that!

i can't wait to hear bout today's sermon at crossculture!