:) it's here so i can re-read what you said

8 February, 2008
it is not often when I set aside time to construct a post dedicated to a single person, nor space on my blog; but I think this particular friend deserves it, whether she ever reads this or not. Ha.
There is a part of my past that I always used to specifically erase/lapse from recollection, ironically due to the profound impact it had on me. Memories, people, and events that I preferred not to recall I believed could be conveniently forgot. And I succeeded, for a long period of time, by sheer strength of will and other factors like the simple hustle and bustle of life.
But I guess God had different plans. As I wrote on that m&m container, like an ephemeral time traveller you popped back on scene, and I was forced to confront my demons of the past once again. Haha it was about time anyway, something I knew I had to do, yet never was able to bring myself myself to, simply because there was no compelling enough reason.
You have helped me in ways I never thought possible, and the positive impact you have made on my life even in these few short weeks cannot be described in words, for they do no justice. I don’t know how much that same episode of the past affected you (though it’s quite immaterial really - the answer does not change my sentiments) but you were the much needed reminder that there was much more to life to dwell on things of the past, and pay so much heed to it; because of your maturity was I able to carry on, to move on, without any form of baggage anymore.
haha. stupid me really, but well
I was looking through archives of the past. MSN convos, devotedtomilk (of which i’ve forgotten my posting details boo), your old blog, everything. And I am sad really. Sad I lost so much time, sad I took so much time to grow up, sad that you’re now about to go.
but alas, I know that the good Lord has plans, and the plans are best for everyone. I know that He has great plans for you in the next chapter of your life, and I pray only that you are able to continue being a blessing to the community there, and touch them even as you have touched us.
so I end this with a goodbye. To a dear sister in Christ, who was one of the key individuals who sparked off the revival in my spiritual life. To a dear friend, for all the fun, laughter, and tears. To a fellow ACSian, who has a teeny bit of red, blue, and gold flowing through her veins now. To elx.
Goodbye.

fire

it's six fifteen in the morning.

at about five plus i was woken up by an ear-piercing scream from some alarm and my first thought..

"go back to sleep!"

then a bit later..

"oh no.. is that jolene's back door alarm? did someone break in?"

then the next thought came..

"go back to sleep luh!"

but a while later..

"the sound seems to be coming from my room! is it my laptop???"

i turn off the music on my laptop and placed my ear at the speakers. it wasn't my laptop. then..

"oh NO! what if it IS jolene's alarm!! what if jolene's in danger!!! why are you still sleeping!! how can you sleep if your friend gets kidnapped??"

so i grabbed my phone and rush out of my room and felt my way down the stairs. halfway down i realised that i couldn't see a thing cause
1)it was dark
2) i didn't have my glasses on

ran back up to get my spects. then i realised that lishan's door was open. i tried to make out through the darkness if she was in bed.

she wasn't.

i raced down to bang on jolene's door.
jolene: ya....?
(PHEW! SHE WAS ALIVE!! AND SAFE!!!and probably just woke up.)
me: wake up! it's so noisy!
*jolene opens the door
jolene: what's that!
me: do you know how to turn off the smoke alarm?
(conversations made half asleep at five plus inthe morning is terribly disjointed)
.
.
.
.
me: lishan's not in her room..
jolene panicked.
then after a while, she went: maybe she's sleeping with someone now..

we sat on jolene's bed in a daze and at a loss of what to do. then i decided to call aunty sue to help us withthe alarm. while waiting for her to come, i went to check if zelia was still in her room.

knocked on the door
shouted "zelia!!"
flipped on the lights
saw her sleeping like a log
turned the lights off
closed the door
went back down

jolene:i thought you went to wake zelia up?
me: she's still sleeping...
jolene: oh yaaaa... she puts on ear phones when she sleeps..
me:hahahahhahaha!! seashelll!!
*jolene starts laughing
me: yeah and now let's call the firemen
*and we both crack up
(with reference to fahrenheit 451 where seashells are earpieces and firemen burn books instead of put out fires)
(there was crazy extremem mood swinging from sleepy to anxious to irritated to a chocolate-high then back to being serious)
jolene: what about wynn and abigail (the two on the top floor)?
me: i dunno..
jolene: i'll go check..

so the two of us went up to wynn and abi's room. jolene switched on the lights while i was still making my way up and i heard her laughing her head off, saw her crouched on the floor laughing and laughing..

then i saw why...




lishan was in wynn's bed.

jolene's laughter caused her to sit up (imagine a vampire getting up froma coffin). when i saw her i burst into hysterical laughter and went "what the he**?? what are you doing here???anyhow come into people's room and sleep?? "

and all lishan could say was: downstairs so noisy.....

while the three of us gathered downstairs, zelia finally came down to join us, and she
said: what happened? i woke up at 4.45 and i went back to sleep..
then lishan spoke up and
said: actually i wanted to ask if you all wanted to sleep upstairs with me

omgoodness, that totally cracked me up luh. imagine if there was a real fire.......
zelia would hear the alarm, "wha.. dam loud... WHA 4.45am?? go back to sleep!"
and lishan would go "wha... the alarm on the 2nd floor's so loud.. ask the rest to go upstairs and sleep la."
jolene would still be fast alseep
and i would be thinking "what's wrong with my laptop?"


hahahahahahhaha!! ohmygoodness... owell. that's the event of the night!

essays start coming in

we had no school yesterday cause it was anzac day - a public holiday.
unfortunately for those who have math lectures on fridays, lectures were still on for them.
i woke up early in the morning to crash the lecture AND in the afternoon, i went for math support lecture.

whoa.. such a mugger right.

NOT. sigh.. people have started borrowing books for their History of Ideas essay already and i only just read the question today.

this term's certainly more taxing than the previous. we've got
1) HOI essay due end may
2) accounting essay due end may
3) Lit essay due some time dunno when..

ah. 'nuff said.


OH THE HIGHLIGHT OF THIS WEEK'S MY PSYCHOLOGY TUTORIAL!!
we did an experiment at melbourne university. it was HILARIOUS!!
adrienne and i volunteered for it so the rest of the class blended in with the crowd and watched us from a distance. here's how the experimnt on selective attention went: adrienne went up to a random stranger to ask for directions while i hid behind a pillar. while the stranger was looking at the map in adrienne's diary, she told him that she had to go grab her bag. so she came over to me and i took her place and went up to the stranger and continued the conversation as if i was the one who'd asked for directions.

SO MANY STUDENTS GOT PUNKED! and the two of us weren't even wearing similar clothes! LOL! t'was really good stuff, that.

ok quick update:
1) yeong shen's fish died early this week
me: what happened to your fish??
ys: oh it's playing dead..
me: no! it's slanted sideways!
ys: ya i know.. wait.. omg.. my fish is deadddddd!!!!

2) wayne called from singapore and used up his credit in 18mins

3) i heard/saw someone sing :)

mexican night!

saturday night with the OCFers was AWESOME!!

i met suling, mandy, gwen, tiff, jo and kyle at the train station and we all headed to south kensington together where dong, eddie, daryl and kyle share a huge house by the river. the whole location didn't feel the least bit like the city. when we reached, it was a tad too early for dinner, so dong and kyle took me, gwen jo and ling to the nearby park.

we crossed the bridge to the other side of the river and from the top of the bridge, we could see dozens and dozens of yellow starfish on the rocks and they kinda looked like honey stars. haha.. there was a giant starfish that was probably the size of three heads. or maybe 2 and a half heads. when we got down on the other side, we deviated from the cemented path and walked by the rocks instead. we caught sight of a poor starfish that was shrivelling up on one of the rocks. i thought it looked like a banana peel, kyle said it looked more like an orange peel. HAHA.

the park didn't really look like a park. it was a vast area of grass and trees beside the river.. more nature than normal parks and it was beautiful. there was also a duck pond as well and we fed them with expired bread we found in the house.



then we went back for dinner. eddie cooked absolutely fabulous taco and tortillla fillings! i really enjoyed the food. suling brought nachos and cheese which we heated up in the oven and dipped in jars of salsa that i got.

the best part? the PINATA!!! haha.. kyle looks so cute here!
tiff looks cuter!! I'M GONNA WHACKYA!!GRR...

we had heaps of fun at the pinata. after all the laughter, we went back up to watch hitman! daryl managed to borrow a projector so we shifted the furniture round and prjected the movie on the wall. eddie took down blankets and pillows. and we had bean bags too!! perfect ambience for any movie!

the night was just fantabulous. probably the most fun i've had since i came. daryl drove me back afer that and i reached home at 2+.

right. and here are photos from wednesday and.. a long time ago.

dinner at norsiah's
he reckons that he looks like an ah beng holding apples like that. HAHAHAHA..
guess who's shorts he's wearing!! (hint: ELI**!!) hahaha..
just a rainbow i saw on the way home. there were two together actually, but the other was rather faint. pity it wasn't a full rainbow though.
this is where i live. i know it's been more than 2months already, but people still cant picture what my place looks like.
and HERE are the pictures taken in sydney!

woops! i forgot to rotate. this is the awesomest HEALTHY meal you can get in sydney at Not Bread Alone. grilled flathead with spinach and mash. this is also where you can get the awesomest UNHEALTHY chocolate brownies topped with warm chocolate sauce and vanilla ice-cream.
that's tash.. HAHA!

sam-ee:tash, open your eyes big when you smile!
and that's exactly what she did.
such a sweet candid shot eh?
that's nicole playing in the water at the harbour.

this is the baby.
HAHAHA... little terror.

here's tasha with her boyfriend karl and two other little boys who wanted to be in the picture.
tash:let me see let me see!

me: is it a nice picture?

tash:no..

me:why not?

tash: because i don't look happy...

me: then how do you look?

tash:......... um.. like... grouchy...

MAD!!

RAHHHHH!!! i put 2dollars in the washing machine to get my laundry done only to realise 30minutes later when i was hanging up my clothes that i'd FORGOTTEN TO PUT LAUNDRY POWDER IN THE MACHINE!!!!!!

that's for doing laundry half awake.

on my heart

"do you know i still love you?"
if you'd sing that song one day.

my pet lion

not much went on today, cept for the giving out of more results which i'm rather satisfied with.
vincent called me for dinner and bball. i totally forgot that zelia's parents were taking lishan jolene ze and me out for dinner!! i wanted to kick myself when lishan called to ask where i was and i had to tell her i was having dinner. RAAAHHHHH!!!

i enjoyed my pet lion's company anyhow. i didn't know that he was such a fruit fanatic. i'll post pictures later. the most satisfactory thing i did tonight was to run for.. uh.. 20minutes. hahaha.. jog luh. i felt terribly unfit and vincent spent half the time laughing at me. sigh.

ok gnite i wanna slp.

diet competition

uncle bruce made a comment about someone putting on weight last night and she was absolutely furious! and today, our house seems to be in the diet mood.

winsen saw me snacking.
winsen: you're gonna put on weight
------------
five minutes later, i turn up at house six
me: LEIGHLAND!! don't play guitar hero anymore!! go running with me now!! winsen said i'm fat!!
winsen: NO I DIDNT!
me: yes you did!

(i ended up not going, just doing sit ups at home with abi)

and here's a bit of the conversation that went on about ten minutes ago.

abi: I KNOW ALREADY!! ONE STRAWBERRY HAS TWO CALORIES!!
--------------------------
abi picks a huge strawberry: i think this is not 2 calories, i think it's 4.
wynn picks a small one: this is 1 calorie.
abi: eh! you know, this is really very good. 'cause we cut out all the rotten parts (of the strawberry) right, so this strawberry is probably not two.. it's liike.. 1.5!! eh but i don't believe each strawberry is only 2 calories la. like that BREATHE also can lose..skarly the website typed wrongly, each is 20!!
(after a lot more strawberry eating..)
abi: sh*t luh so full how to sleep! ok start breathing! ONE strawberry, TWO strawberries, THREE strawberries!
----------------------------------
wynn: ok i'm going to have another bit of my apple.
she continues to open the door of the fridge and takes a half eaten apple out as i stare in horror/amusement.
----------------------------------
abi sticks a seaweed in my face: EAT!!
me: NO DONT WANT!!
abi: why... you don't like ah..
me: i do! (i just dont wanna eat anymore!!)
abi: then EAT!! i ate THREE pieces of your Shapes!!
wynn: WHAT??? THREE SHAPES ONLY THEN YOU SAY LIKE YOU ATE A LOT LIKE THAT!!

results and chill outs

i got math results back and i don't wanna talk about it.
our english homework tasks came back today too. i think my whole class is pretty satisfied with our performance cause the class average (I'M GUESSING) is like.....

10/10???

hahaha.. helen didn't come to class today so there was no class.

now the more happening bit.

i met up with selene for koko black last night. (she's here for holiday)
then suddenly this familiar person walked past
me: CRYSTAL! (my primary school friend)
cryst: OH.. MY... GODDD... WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE OMG OMG OMG WHAT IN THE..
(haha yeah she was really loud so i shut up to.. well.. balance the noise level?? haha)
crystal koh's in the april accelerated intake. what a coincidence eh? after how many gazillion years!

ok anyway, selene and i did away with quite a lot of small talk that would usually come with catching up with people. talking to her was (forgive my terrible vocab) GOOD.

i went for ice-cream with gwen just now and we talked big talk. haha it's nice not talking small talk with someone new whom you havent really spent a lot of time with. feels like we've known each other for longer than we really have.

lishan's talking to her mum next door. she's so encouraging. haha really funny..
her mum: never mind luh.. first year only mah.. (in chinese)
ls: i only have ONE YEAR leh..
ok i should stop eavesdropping! shh!

gnite peeps!

cry

if you'd just draw me nearer and hold me tight, and tell me in a whisper that i've got it right.

it's good to be back

it's nice having everyone back.
and it's nice saying hello to people again.

i woke up this morning to the noise made my the palmeys who came back today.
(i slept downstairs)
spent most of the day with whitney and yeong shen.

don't feel like blogging very much today. if i were a hermit crab i'd just wanna be in my shell right now. maybe i'll go call andrew. i miss hanging out with him and amanda.

heading back!

sam-ee took me nicole and aunty kitty to darling harbour for lunch today.
good stuff they served at Jordans. weather was perfect if i should say so myself. but i guess what i really miss is being together with people MY AGE!!

haha.. the only other disappointing thing (besides having no friends) bout this sydney trip is prolly the shopping.. or lack of it. i've only spent on junk food to take back to melbourne. heh. well that's not a bad thing though, now i know that the best place for shoping is BACK HOME! (as in melbourne. and singapore too of course.)

machine's running low on battery. time to pack it in my bag anyway.
i'm looking forward to flying back tmr. give my teddy bear a big cuddly squeeze!!
it's so weird.. that i actually like that bear. i don't like sstuffed toys much.

yeah. i don't like stuffed toys much. remember that.


gnite world!

hot head

seems like last night's fever came back.

my throat's so dry it feels brittle.

and for once, i just wanna be bumming around as my bed cries out to my heavy head.

sinful

sam-e came back from the states today which made it much more enjoyable really.
she got me a couple of things from US (:D) and a LOT of baby clothes for tash and nadine cause the osh kosh factory outlets there had ultra good deals.

she took me out for lunch at No Bread Alone where i had grilled flathead served with spinach and mashed potatoes. really good lunch which ended with a delicious warm and chocolaty brownie topped with warm chocolate sauce and vanilla ice-cream. sinful. i know! and if that wasn't enough, i had another glass of chocolate smoothie in the evening when we were taking a break from shopping. i wasn't in a very shoppingy mood today but still, i'm glad i got out of the house and walked around a little! :)

just an honest post of memory

i went to see kchao's friendster profile last night.
it certainly brought back a couple of memories, nothing i wish to remember too much of, neither anything i want to forget.

then i was reminded of another person. three times tonight. first was when i saw his name on msn beside a green msn man and my hands turned cold. i still cant figure him out, not that im desperately trying. maybe the way i feel about him is the way he feels about the Big Papa. He's big enough to find me.

ah..what can i say

little children are dangerous.

they make you wana pinch their cheeks.. yet at the same time, make you so exasperated ie when they cry and whinge. *shivers*

i went to an anglican church alone this morning. uncle terrence dropped me off. there were no youths at all. just adults with their children.
spent the day at home, but i had a little fun in the evening when i followed the 3 girls to the backyard. it's the backyard that every kid would dream of having.

uncle terence built a litle club house of wood a few years back. it's got 2 storeys and a slide and a covered sandpit. it great fun, really! and there's also a ginormous trampoline.. not a kids one, a real REAL one. haha.. yeah, pretty happening eh?

well i just came back from baskin robbins a bit ago. i had peanut butter and chocolate ice cream! hahaha.. ys would be so jealous.. oh but then again, ice-cream's unhealthy, BUT PEANUT BUTTER'S NOT VERY MCH HEALTHIER EITHER!

gnite melbourne, gnite palmerston house, g'nite el-x who's patiently wating in my wardrobe for my warm cuddle!! (and of course not to forget Dog-turned-blueberry-muffin who's swimming in the little fishbowl of hers!)

dinner at the lim-howe's

it wasn't as bad as i thought.

michael hasn't changed much since 3 years ago.. still the same big brotherish boy who's always taking care of the littlest one (in this case nadine)
victoria's grown quite a lot
today was the first time i saw nicholas since sam-e and uncle terence got married. he broke his leg.

anw, food at the bbq was awesome. the beef and lamb and salad and fruit and chicken.. im salivating just thinking of the succulent meat! haha.. and i had some wine. :)

jolene said: hahaha. wha, go sydney become so naughty already!

(and im like.. drinking with family is ok!... i think)

jolene's tamagotchi died by the way. she sounded so panicky in her sms i thought yeongshen's goldfish died! i think if i played my own april fools prank on myself i'd have had the same reaction as ys.

sydney

i arrived in sydney yesterday afternoon and have been hanging out with people way older or way younger than i am.

little natasha's three this year and still as chubby as ever.
nadine's 16 months and she's starting to babble some words.
as for 12yearold nicole, i think she's matured a lot. heh.. a really good big jie jie now.

i cant wait for sam-ee to come back from the States. i think things will be more happening when she gets back. right now, uncle terrence and aunty kitty are just really busy with the little ones. i enjoy playing with the kids, but it's just different. I AM different when im here. i don't like being different from who i am, but somehow kids and adults just force me to behave differently.

we're going to the limhou's/limhow's (i dunno how to spell their last name) for a barbequeue tonight. not really looking forward to it cause i dont get to be myself when i'm around angmohish people either. sigh.

ok now for the good bit. internet on my laptop's fixed! and i can use my msn too (after nearly two months!)!! it's great! i was trying really hard to handle 20 conversations last night and well.. i didn't really do a good job. haha.. it's tough just trying to deal with a dozen, or half a dozen at that.

seep

his words
they slow things down
and time pauses
for a beat
to listen




a strange sound indeed
strangely slow

then it rolls on
slowly lowly
deeply, warm
but cold and distant
he touches you through the glass window
and you
just put
his words
as they roll
into
a
stained
glass
bottle.

DARLI!!

HEY DARLI!! wait till you get 45 points! or even 40 for that matter! THEN you tell me again that IB sucks! hahaha YOU GUYS ARE MAKING YOUR WAY TO CAMBRIGE AND OXFORD!!
i love you!

april's fool!!

yeongshen's bright smile was too bright for the camera!! hahahaha.. (shucks that's so cheesy)
that's him feeding Dog before he went back to sg. i called him last night.. or rather this morning at 1am.
ys: hello?
me:yeongshen your fish died!
ys: hello?
me:yeong shen YOUR FISH DIED!!
ys: huh!
me: ya. i changed the water this morning and added the tablet and the 6 drops.. but i couldn't really measure the 6 drops cause there was not dropperthingy so i just added a little then at night the water turned like... really really really blue.
ys: *laughs the i-cant-believe-MY-FISH-DIED!! laugh* omg, my fish DIED???
me: ya...
ys: so how now.. omg..
me: i dunno....
ys: you changed the whole thing??
me: no are you crazy there was so little water in the bowl already i just added more water and put in the tablet and suff
ys: how full is it now?
me: two thirds....
*silence*
*i laugh the YOU-GOT-PUNKED! laugh*
*he laughed the omg-i-dont-believe-it!! laugh*
me: it's the 1st of april here already luh...

hahahahaha.. yay!! i totally got him!! so cute luh. was pretty funny. well Dog's happy and alive!! :D dont worry i'll take really really good care of it!


so anyway, here are the pictures from the other day when we went shopping at DFO and dinner at the Crown.


that was my dinner

it was shopping at smith street for me and lishan today!
chadstone awaits us tmr.......
cheers!