look out

i just had a long phone call with a friend.
it's funny how we can start off talking about online shopping and end up with him telling me things that push me into thinking about God-related things.

i would say that i've grown a lot since last december's mission trip to chiang mai.
but to put the focus on how i've changed in australia, i would say that it has been like going from the top of the mountain then deep down into the deepest darkest parts of a valley then climbing back up again.

i experienced the scariest part of my christian life here, where i felt lost, frustrated, helpless and desperate.

but it was also because of my time here that i can now say "my God is indeed an awesome God." and i can add so many more descriptive words to tell of how great He is. but i guess one would never understand this feeling unless he feels it for himself and knows God in this way. however, having said that, i know that what i know about God is just the tip of the iceberg. there's so much more about Him. AHH. how do i word this.

there's something about the way a man would so willingly give up his high-flying/stable career for an uncertain future. there's something about the way someone can just say "no" to an appealing prospect and trade something tangible for something intangible. how would you know if you're being shortchanged when you let such great opportunity pass you by? the truth is, you don't. but you trust. (pardon me it's 3am in the morning i can't word my thoughts very well right now) all you know is that the one who's in control loves you too much to shart-change you. :)

and so, my conversation that lasted for several hours has left me desiring to know more about God. the great men in the bible knew God for sure, but yet, they STILL mentioned wanting to know God. there's just so much more to know. and i'm convinced that the more i know, the more i'll learn to love.

:D