i dont want a job i just want money

1) the challenge is always to want the job because it is something you take ownership of and want to do. simpler way to say this: believe in the work that you do. wondering what i can believe for when i go back to singapore, if i go back.

 2) i've started snapping at myself again because i can't stand the "STAY!!" and "GO BACK!" voices that have been quibbling in my head.

 3) TIM AND ELLIE the subtlest craziest brilliantest people. i get so tickled when i notice the magic they pull off that people take for granted and don't notice. i love it.

4) second fantastic meeting with the 'other side' this week. the first one concluded with a sense of "yes we were both international students before and we both want students to grow beyond just academia". the second ended with a sense of commitment to collaborate and lighten loads for each other.  refreshing break from the stories i listen to. good.

5) dont like being the needy one. how about.. dont like being needy period.

6) talking through things on tuesday at the post-gameshow discussion, i realised how much good there was that we made through the 4 years, but i also realised something quite unhealthy and unhelpful. have to bring it up someday. after we figure out why im the rock and the hard place that he's always stuck in between.

7) taoist, buddhist and christian teachings the same? i wonder what they understand of their gods. so apparently, you pick what rules you wanna follow in buddhism because different people write different scriptures. so. hmm. im confused, this is what my buddhist and taoist friends tell me. "i just pick what i want and which works better. i follow till it get uncomfortable"

8) at the end of the day, i just think people should understand what they are there for and have a direction.