joy
fb status today reads "maybe my love language is tokingcok"
i found that one of the few moments that i've felt most at home since i got back was when i was talking nonsense with wayne and jovan on the phone. insulting and being insulted by each other. it's funny how the banter brings so much warmth.
today this thought crossed my mind again.. the thought that my life aint that important, and i dont think anyone would be much affected if i disappeared one day. these thoughts have been recurring since last December. silly i know.
coincidentally, when dad came to pick me and my bicycle up from church today refusing to let me cycle home at night, he said "you think you're living for yourself only ah. you know we will be very hurt if you die?"
going to YAM was actually really good for me. for once i felt welcome back in the 5 years i've been away. every year, going back to bmc was slightly odd because i was neither here nor there, neither included nor excluded. i got to pick my own cellgroup and i just made up my mind to join whichever that kannan was in. turned out to be an all boys group. HAHA i somehow always land myself in groups like that. but nobody had an issue with that. it was a really good mix of new and old friendships.. well. we kinda all grew up together anyway.
zeke who was a small kid when i first met him, he's 20 now.. guonian's sense of humour hadn't changed one bit, sam chua spoke a whole lot more than he used to but he's just as nonsensical, lionel's still the same, kanan's a kinda new friend so. i dont know. somehow i found the mix to be really comfortable.
in other news, i'd asked guonian for coins because i wanted a drink from the vending machine. i was honestly taken aback when he handed me two 50c coins.
"how much are the drinks in singapore??"
"between 70c to a dollar?" he replied
"huh! so cheap??"
hey not that i'm atas or loaded okay, but i've not bought a drink from a vending machine in sg in years.. and the only vending machines i've bothered checking out have been those in melbourne that sell a drink for.. 3 bucks sometimes? so.. hey im not complaining :)
even in our privileged spheres, there remain broken hearts and lives, sitting on benches in quiet parks in the middle of the night.
Forgive me for i've forgotten how much of a privilege i live in.
i found that one of the few moments that i've felt most at home since i got back was when i was talking nonsense with wayne and jovan on the phone. insulting and being insulted by each other. it's funny how the banter brings so much warmth.
today this thought crossed my mind again.. the thought that my life aint that important, and i dont think anyone would be much affected if i disappeared one day. these thoughts have been recurring since last December. silly i know.
coincidentally, when dad came to pick me and my bicycle up from church today refusing to let me cycle home at night, he said "you think you're living for yourself only ah. you know we will be very hurt if you die?"
going to YAM was actually really good for me. for once i felt welcome back in the 5 years i've been away. every year, going back to bmc was slightly odd because i was neither here nor there, neither included nor excluded. i got to pick my own cellgroup and i just made up my mind to join whichever that kannan was in. turned out to be an all boys group. HAHA i somehow always land myself in groups like that. but nobody had an issue with that. it was a really good mix of new and old friendships.. well. we kinda all grew up together anyway.
zeke who was a small kid when i first met him, he's 20 now.. guonian's sense of humour hadn't changed one bit, sam chua spoke a whole lot more than he used to but he's just as nonsensical, lionel's still the same, kanan's a kinda new friend so. i dont know. somehow i found the mix to be really comfortable.
in other news, i'd asked guonian for coins because i wanted a drink from the vending machine. i was honestly taken aback when he handed me two 50c coins.
"how much are the drinks in singapore??"
"between 70c to a dollar?" he replied
"huh! so cheap??"
hey not that i'm atas or loaded okay, but i've not bought a drink from a vending machine in sg in years.. and the only vending machines i've bothered checking out have been those in melbourne that sell a drink for.. 3 bucks sometimes? so.. hey im not complaining :)
even in our privileged spheres, there remain broken hearts and lives, sitting on benches in quiet parks in the middle of the night.
Forgive me for i've forgotten how much of a privilege i live in.
posted by elisa @ 6:40 AM
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