split personality

this is the second time i'm hearing this comment: that i am different in front of different people.
i never really notice. and i still can't identify or fully understand what this means.
the only time i feel like i'm pretending is when i act as though there is no awkwardness between me and kv or ljh. but even they do the same - forced by circumstance.
everything else is elisa. or so i think. am i tricking myself??
maybe when i meet new people and do that whole small talk thing, i am different, but then again, that is still elisa. it's elisa-when-she-meets-someone-new.

i think it's now important to differentiate between genuineness and difference. i can be different in front of different people, but it does not mean i am not genuine. and difference can arise from the different role you play in each person's life. With some friends i'm more serious and thoughtful, with other friends i just chillax. With some people i'm motherly, with others i'm like a kid.  yeah i can see why someone would say i'm different in front of different people, but isn't that normal? or is it just me?

and just because i behave differently, does that follow on to mean that i am a different person? i think my values would still remain the same, my hopes, fears, securities, question, the things i take delight in - all these are still the same. but under different circumstances and with different people, all those get expressed differently, no?

AND.. there are also times where you wanna behave a certain way/do a certain thing/ think a certain way, but a little voice inside your head tells you otherwise. sometimes you choose to follow what you want, and other times you follow the little. both are equally me though, even though they may be battling against each other.

help me out here i hope i'm not being too much of a hypocrite.