50% more to go
50% more to go.
It’s been 6 months out of the one year that i’ll be here for.
I had two very different questions yesterday from two very different people regarding my time here.
the 18 year old boy asked me “actually, why do you want to stay here this year? If i were you i will start working. There are a lot of things you can do in one year you know? Don’t waste the year like that.”
The 30-something year old man asked me “what gave you the courage to stay on to do this? I want to do something like that as well but I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know you well, personally, but just watching from a third person point of view, from afar, please be encouraged and know that you’re doing a very good job.”
Haha it’s funny how differently people can look at the same thing. I’d say I see my work as somewhere in between those two. When i texted mum and sent her pictures of the jetty through my phone yesterday while i was out fishing with han cheng, david and Julian, she went “no work today?”. I replied with a “I can work from here”.
Begs the question of how work is defined. I know i still have trouble describing to people what I have been doing. This year has been a real gift to me. I had one good conversation with Han Cheng yesterday, i think it gave the both of us food for thought. That i consider work. Spending time with Julian and including David, i consider that work too. This morning’s coffee with Joshua Pui about church, conflicts and next semester’s open mic was work. Prayer meeting straight after that till lunch time was work. Cooking for the trinity students who were having their exams last week was work even though it was over at my apartment. You could say I’m taking a break now as i write this. Consolidating the under 18 student name list later and paying them a visit later will be work. I used to get bogged down by the operational side of working out Toastbar but i realised that the real work was the people work. You don’t just get something to fly for the sake of getting something running up in the air. Work on your foundations and someone else can fly even if you dont.
Sarah Soh asked me what i’ve learnt about myself this year. I couldn’t think of one specific thing on the spot. But Tim put it really nicely when he explained 2 Chronicles. The supposed good guys were called up and given choices or made to go through periods of time that really tested their substance. From the way they responded to the choices or their circumstances, their very response exposed things in them. You go through 2 chronicles and will find that you never really know who the good guys are or who the bad ones are. (sidetracked a bit..) but likewise, the way i responded to instructions involving technology, the way i responded to the absence of instructions but freedom to create my own work, responded to conflict, misunderstanding, mishandling of expectations, criticism, faithlessness of experts, people around me whom i thought i cared about, the challenge of cooking for 35 people despite having close to zero confidence in the kitchen, rejection and exclusion from a group of people, acceptance into a new culture, respect from an unexpected group of people, my own irresponsibility, struggling with value and identity in light of the success of aunty khoo, learning how to embrace, engage and empower.
Next six months. Effectively only another 4 months with the students. Eeps! How do i build a community from which even caleb can glean from if he comes over 2 years from now?
I had two very different questions yesterday from two very different people regarding my time here.
the 18 year old boy asked me “actually, why do you want to stay here this year? If i were you i will start working. There are a lot of things you can do in one year you know? Don’t waste the year like that.”
The 30-something year old man asked me “what gave you the courage to stay on to do this? I want to do something like that as well but I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know you well, personally, but just watching from a third person point of view, from afar, please be encouraged and know that you’re doing a very good job.”
Haha it’s funny how differently people can look at the same thing. I’d say I see my work as somewhere in between those two. When i texted mum and sent her pictures of the jetty through my phone yesterday while i was out fishing with han cheng, david and Julian, she went “no work today?”. I replied with a “I can work from here”.
Begs the question of how work is defined. I know i still have trouble describing to people what I have been doing. This year has been a real gift to me. I had one good conversation with Han Cheng yesterday, i think it gave the both of us food for thought. That i consider work. Spending time with Julian and including David, i consider that work too. This morning’s coffee with Joshua Pui about church, conflicts and next semester’s open mic was work. Prayer meeting straight after that till lunch time was work. Cooking for the trinity students who were having their exams last week was work even though it was over at my apartment. You could say I’m taking a break now as i write this. Consolidating the under 18 student name list later and paying them a visit later will be work. I used to get bogged down by the operational side of working out Toastbar but i realised that the real work was the people work. You don’t just get something to fly for the sake of getting something running up in the air. Work on your foundations and someone else can fly even if you dont.
Sarah Soh asked me what i’ve learnt about myself this year. I couldn’t think of one specific thing on the spot. But Tim put it really nicely when he explained 2 Chronicles. The supposed good guys were called up and given choices or made to go through periods of time that really tested their substance. From the way they responded to the choices or their circumstances, their very response exposed things in them. You go through 2 chronicles and will find that you never really know who the good guys are or who the bad ones are. (sidetracked a bit..) but likewise, the way i responded to instructions involving technology, the way i responded to the absence of instructions but freedom to create my own work, responded to conflict, misunderstanding, mishandling of expectations, criticism, faithlessness of experts, people around me whom i thought i cared about, the challenge of cooking for 35 people despite having close to zero confidence in the kitchen, rejection and exclusion from a group of people, acceptance into a new culture, respect from an unexpected group of people, my own irresponsibility, struggling with value and identity in light of the success of aunty khoo, learning how to embrace, engage and empower.
Next six months. Effectively only another 4 months with the students. Eeps! How do i build a community from which even caleb can glean from if he comes over 2 years from now?
posted by elisa @ 2:45 PM
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