testing my current belief

you might remember this from 5 years ago. my first attempt at cooking a pancake.

the current belief is that i can't cook. i failed 3 times before getting the sticky rice right. and i've failed at making kaya before too (although i made two beautiful jars of kaya yesterday).

i can cook green curry. it's about the only thing i can cook with confidence. BUT.. cooking for 32 people - that's quite a scary thought. but i'm gonna try anyway. i just came back from buying ingredients for tomorrow's catering. and i do feel a sense of accomplishment and independence because i did it alone, on foot, and at three different places (AND i did price comparisons on everything, which meant visiting and revisiting). even going grocery shopping has been a defiance of the current belief that i need someone to go grocery shopping with (because i can't cook and can't estimate and dont know what to buy).

i probably took a fair bit more time than a normal person would, but still, i reckon this is a step forward for me. erica offered to go with me and i had to fight my instinctive response of accepting that offer.

perhaps this is what Jesus meant when he said that all we need is faith the size of a mustard seed. i'm not sure if i can pull off tomorrow. but there is a hint of belief that erica and i will be able to do it. and that's what we're operating on now. a belief (faith) and a hope :)

anxious-excited.