boys and girls

i've seen girls backstab each other a lot. but i've never seen guys do it. never even heard of guys doing that.

maybe that's why i exercise caution when im with girly girls.. or rather girls that look a certain way. i just instinctively disengage.

maybe it's because girls hide their feelings really really well. and i never know what they're thinking or feeling. and maybe girls bear grudges more whereas guys just joke things off.

ah well. what do i do when i'm going to be put in a situation where i will have to face the most nightmarish girl in my life again. just look at me. inside, i really dont know if i have enough love to see past the things she took from me. and perhaps it's girls like me that im afraid of. maybe i'll bear that grudge and hide my feelings with a plastic smile. yuck. the last time i had to be in the same place as her i just completely avoided her, and i think we just exchanged a sentence or two - for what im not sure.

maybe it's time to change the way i think change the way i think sort out the things in my heart and make that plastic smile real.