humans

humans are complicated things.

to say that i was mood swingy today's not quite it.
i was probably more cautious and perhaps over-sensitive to both body language and tonality.
which is really bad, because i end up coming across as either clingy, or distant and hostile, and then i end up feeling bad for being clingy or distant or hostile.

i'm wondering if it's a hormonal problem. i should be more alert the start of next month and draw my conclusion from there.

that aside, i had an interesting dinner tonight. i can't decide if it was good or bad.


i cooked.


(hey don't jump to the conclusion that it's bad yet!)
i actually think it would have tasted a fair bit better if i'd put less pepper.. and maybe a little less salt in the chicken. cause it kinda felt like i was just eating chicken-textured pepper. oh but guess what, i paired my chicken-with-pepper-vinegar-garlic-salt-and-chilli-with-rice dinner with a sweet, cold apple. so for every mouthful of chicken and rice i took, i took a bite into the granny smith.

eh! not bad ok. though it DOES sound quite gross. urgh.


i popped by the international careers fair thingum today. i didn't really wanna be there because i didn't know what to ask, or what to look out for. totally lost. besides, i'm only in my first year.

ok, to be honest, those probably aren't the main reasons why.